


Do we have Brain Bleach?

by Golden_Asp



Series: Tales of the IronAgent Kind [9]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Sex, Desk Sex, Fury really didn't want to see Tony's pasty white ass, M/M, but he did, butt plug, he regrets life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:09:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23899522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Golden_Asp/pseuds/Golden_Asp
Summary: Phil returns from a month long mission and Tony goes to his office to greet him.  Sex ensues.  Nick Fury walks in.  He needs immediate brain bleach.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Tony Stark
Series: Tales of the IronAgent Kind [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586353
Comments: 12
Kudos: 224
Collections: Assassin Twins + Tony, Smut





	Do we have Brain Bleach?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HogwartsToAlexandria](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HogwartsToAlexandria/gifts).



> This is for Marie, who wanted a NSFW addition to the IronAgent series. Sorry this took a few days, had to hit that camp nano wordcount! Thanks for ko-fis and the ask!
> 
> In the new year's Eve fic in this series, fury mentioned that he found out about their relationship by walking in on them having sex. This is that story
> 
> not beta-ed

Phil was exhausted. Everything hurt. He just wanted to finish the damn report and go home to Tony. He hadn’t seen his partner in a month and he missed him. He never thought he’d be in a committed relationship with the genius (no longer playboy) billionaire philanthropist, but here they were.

Damn, he missed Tony.

The door to his office slammed open and Tony Stark himself walked in, the arc reactor glowing softly under his shirt.

“Think of the devil and he shall appear,” Phil said, a smile tugging at his lips. Tony gave him a wicked smile, sauntering across the short space to lean over Phil’s desk.

“Sweetheart, I’ll show you just how devilish I can be.”

Phil rolled his eyes and Tony walked around the desk, tugging Phil to his feet. Phil grunted, the bruises on his back screeching in pain.

Tony glanced at him, lips pressed into a frown at Phil’s grunt. 

“Okay, lose the shirt.”

“Tony, I need to finish this paperwork.”

“Phil, I need to reaffirm my man’s continued health after not seeing him for a month. Take. Off. Your. Shirt.”

Phil huffed and pulled his suit jacket off, dropping it on the back of his chair. He quickly undid the buttons on his cuffs and yanked his clip-on tie off. Normally when he undressed in front of Tony, there was a heat there, but he could tell that Tony wanted to check his injuries. He hadn’t been hurt badly on the last mission, mostly bruises, but he knew it bothered Tony. He shrugged out of his shirt and stood in front of Tony wearing nothing but his slacks and loafers.

Tony stepped forward, running his fingers gently down Phil’s shoulders. Phil’s eyes slipped closed at the touch, his head falling forward to land on Tony’s shoulder. Tony wrapped his arms around Phil and breathed in the scent of him.

“I missed you,” Tony mumbled in his ear. They didn’t often talk about their feelings, about missing each other and the constant worry that came from one of them being a superhero and the other being a super secret agent.

Phil brought his hand up to Tony’s hair, nails dragging against his scalp. “I missed you too.”

Tony pressed his lips against Phil’s neck, making the agent’s breath stutter. 

“Tony…” he said, a note of warning in his voice. Tony grinned against Phil’s neck and lifted his head. They breathed the same air for a moment and then they were kissing. It started out chaste enough, a kiss to reaffirm their continued love and affection for each other.

When Tony opened his mouth to Phil, things took a decidedly more heated tone. Phil groaned, licking into Tony’s mouth. He could still taste the last coffee Tony had had. Tony moaned, fingers tightening on Phil’s waist. He pulled back, a line of saliva joining them together.

“Let me finish this—” Phil started.

“No time,” Tony said, fingers deftly undoing Phil’s belt. “Paperwork can wait. Having your dick inside me cannot.”

“Tony!” Phil hissed, nearly falling over as Tony yanked his pants off. Tony made a face at some of the cuts and scrapes across Phil’s thighs and pressed a kiss to the worst offender. 

“I could make you a suit, you know.”

“I’m not going to fly around in a can,” Phil said, his voice breathless. Tony’s lips were tantalizingly close to his covered cock, which was swiftly hardening beneath his gaze. 

“You’re wearing the underwear I gave you,” Tony said, preening. Iron Man’s helmet strained over Phil’s dick. “Good. Seeing Cap’s shield covering your dick right now would be a real downer.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “You keep hating on my Captain America underwear set I’m going to get Steve to sign them.”

Tony looked up at him with a grin. “Oh, please do. I would love to see just how red his face gets.”

With that, Tony hooked his thumbs on Phil’s waistband and pulled them down over strong thighs. Phil’s cock twitched as the air hit it, the head swollen and slit dripping.

“You haven’t taken care of yourself while you’ve been away, have you?” Tony asked, his breath wafting over Phil’s dick. Phil groaned, shaking his head and grabbing onto the desk for support.

He should tell Tony that there was no way in hell that they were going to have sex in his office. Really, it was a terrible idea. The only people who knew they were together were Rhodes, Pepper, and Happy. He didn’t fancy the thought of someone walking in on them.

He also didn’t think either one of them wanted to wait.

Tony nosed at Phil’s cock, opening his mouth and swallowing him down.

“Ngk,” Phil grunted, nearly doubling over as Tony’s hot, wet mouth wrapped around him. Tony hummed happily around the cock in his mouth, tongue and throat working together. 

Tony hadn’t been lying after the first time Phil had sucked him off; he loved giving head. Phil listened to the slick sounds of Tony’s mouth on his cock, the occasional gag as his dick went too far back, Tony’s ragged breathing. He could see Tony’s pants straining around his own erection, the front of his insanely expensive grey slacks darkening with liquid. 

Phil was close. He was teetering on the edge, hips rocking slowly, when Tony pulled back, leaving his cock swollen and wet, dripping with spit and precome. 

“Tony!” Phil moaned, opening his eyes to look at his lover. He was absolutely going to shoot Tony in that perfect ass if he didn’t get his mouth back on his cock ASAP.

Tony just smirked up at him and quickly stood up, pushing Phil back into the very nice office chair Tony had gifted him ages ago. Tony waggled his eyebrows at Phil and quickly took off his shoes, socks, and pants. As Phil suspected, he wasn’t wearing any underwear and his cock sprang free the moment Tony slid his pants down. He was hard and dripping, his dick jutting away from his body.

Phil took a moment to drink in the vision before him. Fuck, he loved this man. Tony grinned at him and pulled his button down shirt off, leaving him wearing only a thin tank top. He left that on and Phil understood. In their home, Tony had no problem being completely naked around him, showing him the reactor and his scars. But they weren’t at home and Tony wasn’t going to take off his last shield over his arc reactor.

“You really think we have time to fuck?” Phil asked. They usually took their time on prep, stretching and teasing until he was sure Tony could take him painlessly.

Tony turned around and bent over, grabbing his cheeks and spreading them wide. Phil felt like he’d been punched in the gut as he stared at the hot rod red plug in Tony’s ass.

“I knew you were coming back today,” Tony said, wiggling his hips enticingly. “I took care of prep before I left.”

“Fucking hell,” Phil whispered. The thought that Tony had walked through the halls of Shield with a plug in his ass made his cock twitch. Tony looked over his shoulder and winked, fingers grabbing the edge of the plug and rocking it back and forth. He groaned, eyes fluttering shut as the plug moved inside him.

Tony pulled it out agonizingly slow, dropping it right onto all the paperwork that Phil still had to do. Oh well, Phil really couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment, not with Tony’s asshole twitching right in front of him, still glistening with lube.

“See, no prep needed,” Tony said, feeling incredibly empty. He should look into flying the Iron Man suit with a plug in his ass. That could be interesting. 

Tony turned to face Phil and moved to straddle him, his knees going on either side of Phil’s hips.

“I knew there was a reason you got me such a sturdy chair,” Phil whispered. Tony laughed, bracing one hand against Phil’s chest as his other reached down to grasp Phil’s dick.

“I plan ahead,” Tony gasped. “I am a futurist, after all.”

Phil’s laugh turned into a groan as Tony sank onto him. He nearly came the moment his head slipped past Tony’s ring of muscle, hot and loose from the plug still. He grunted, closing his eyes as Tony pushed himself deeper onto Phil’s cock, his own twitching between their bellies. 

“This isn’t going to last long,” Phil gasped, hands on Tony’s hips. 

“We can take our time tonight,” Tony said, throwing his head back as Phil bottomed out inside him. “God, I’ve missed your dick.”

“Only my dick, huh?” Phil said, snapping his hips up. Tony keened, gripping his shoulders in a bruising grip.

“All of you, Agent Agent,” Tony cried, rocking back onto Phil’s cock. Tony slid down and Phil rose up to meet him, their bodies quickly finding a familiar rhythm. Tony kissed him, their tongues sliding against the other, Tony’s cock leaking lines of precome all over Phil’s stomach. Phil listened to the sounds of his cock sliding in and out of Tony’s ass, to the rhythmic smacking of Tony’s cock bouncing with every thrust, to their ragged breathing. Tony’s ass was tight and hot around his dick, walls fluttering as he found Tony’s prostate and struck it again and again, making Tony nearly scream into his mouth. 

Neither one of them heard the door open, too lost in each other to notice they had an audience.

“What the FUCK?!” Nick Fury’s voice echoed around the room.

Phil gasped, trying to sit up at attention and failing miserably since his dick was impaled in Tony’s ass and Tony Fucking Stark was sitting on his lap.

“Sir!” Phil squeaked out, cheeks flaming red in mortification. 

“Don’t call me sir,” Tony whispered in his ear, making Phil moan. Tony turned his head, never ceasing his motions. Nick Fury stared at him, his one eye wider than he had ever seen it before.

“Hey, Nicky, bud, we need like ten more minutes. Come back then?”

“Stark!”

“Yes?” Tony asked, groaning as he rolled his hips, driving Phil’s cock deeper inside his ass.

“What the ever loving fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Tony looked down at Phil, currently hiding his face in Tony’s chest, then up to Fury. He ran his fingers through Phil’s hair idly, clenching his ass around his cock. He was so utterly close.

“Do I really need to explain how this works?” Tony asked. “Does super agent school not teach you about the birds and the bees?”

Phil let out a snort of laughter against Tony’s chest and Tony grinned. He dropped a quick kiss on Phil’s head, still rocking on the cock buried inside him. There, there, oh god, there!

Tony moaned Phil’s name as he came, his cock pulsing, his balls hot against Phil’s stomach, and he shot his load over Phil’s abs. Phil grunted as Tony’s ass clenched around his dick. Fuck, he was close. He did NOT want to come inside Tony’s ass in front of his boss. 

Fury let out an inarticulate noise, closing his eye and pinching his brow. “I’m going to turn around and walk out this door. I am going to come back in ten minutes. You will both be dressed and waiting for me.”

Tony shrugged. “Sure thing, Nicky. Better hurry if you don’t want to see the finale.”

Fury spun on his heel and stormed out, the door slamming shut behind him.

“Oh, I am so fired,” Phil said.

“I have enough money we can start our own secret agent club,” Tony said with a shrug. He leaned close. “I did notice you got harder when he walked in. Like being watched, do you?”

Phil turned bright red and Tony just laughed, kissing him hard. “We’re on a timetable, Phil. Come inside me.”

“With pleasure,” Phil said against Tony’s mouth. One, two, three hard thrusts and he was spilling inside Tony, painting his walls with hot, sticky seed. Tony groaned at the feeling, rocking back and forth on Phil’s cock.

They panted into each other’s mouths, tongues touching. “We better get dressed,” Phil whispered.

Tony chuckled and slowly pulled himself off Phil’s cock, clenching his hole to keep his seed inside him. His hand patted around Phil’s desk until he found the plug and he held it out to his lover.

“Put it in,” he said. “I want to sit through this meeting with your come inside me.”

“God, you’re filthy,” Phil said, lips curled in a smile. He took the plug and Tony turned around, leaning against the desk and presenting his ass to Phil. Phil kissed one perfect mound of asscheek and pushed the plug in. It slid in easily, eased by his seed and earlier lube. Phil kissed his other cheek and stood up. His stomach was sticky with Tony’s seed and he couldn’t find anything to wipe it off with. 

With a shrug, he pulled his briefs and pants back on, watching Tony dress. He buttoned up his shirt and sat back down, head in his hands.

Tony nudged his hands out of the way and sat in his lap, dropping a kiss on his lips.

“Nothing bad will happen,” Tony said. “Nicky wants my toys he’ll play by my rules. And my rules are you stay with me.”

“I can handle that,” Phil said. He didn’t think Nick would fire him; he was far too good of an agent for that. But he knew he was absolutely never going to hear the end of this.

He kissed Tony again, his arms tightening around his lover’s waist. 

“I think a nice makeout session while we wait is in order,” Tony said.

Phil laughed, tilting his head back. “I think that’s a brilliant idea.”

:::

Nick Fury walked away from Phil’s office as fast he possibly could without running. He had seen a lot in his time at Shield, from aliens to cats with tentacles for mouths. Speaking of Goose, maybe he could find that damn Flerken and have him claw his other eye out so he never had to risk seeing anything like that again.

If there was one thing in his life that he never, ever, _ever_ wanted to see, it was Tony Stark’s pasty white ass with his best agent’s cock inside it. 

He groaned. He was never going to be able to get that image out of his mind. It was stuck there forever, like the chorus of _It’s a Small World_. It was never going to go away. He knew what Stark’s ass looked like and it was going to be seared into his head forever.

He was going to make them sit through the longest and most boring sexual conduct in the workplace powerpoint he could get his hands on. Multiple times. In various languages. 

“Make me look at Stark’s ass,” he muttered, ignoring the very concerned look Maria Hill gave him as he walked into the office. “I’ll show them.”

“Sir?” Hill asked.

“Find me the longest, most boring human resources and sexual conduct in the workplace powerpoint we’ve got.”

“I’m not sure we have one of those,” Hill said.

“Then make one. Fast.”

He shuddered when he closed his eye, flashing back to the sound Tony had made when he came all over Coulson’s stomach.

“GAH!” Nick yelled, making Hill jump. He turned and looked at her.

“Forget the powerpoint. Do we have brain bleach?”

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are love
> 
> Regarding Phil's clip on tie; my dad was a detective for a while and was very adamant that cops/agents/etc would not wear actual ties because someone could grab it and easily choke them with it. So, the clip on tie would come off if someone tried that. Just throwing that out there. Not hugely important but I wanted to get that out.


End file.
